In this episode we reflect on whether we are defining ourselves and our moments or are we giving over our power and allowing people, places, things, situations, and circumstances outside of ourselves to define us and our journey.
Be blessed. Not stressed. Why?
Because yours and their lives depend on it.
Aminah - Your host
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Show Notes Links:
1. Research then go plan your next family live or virtual family reunion
2. Thank a loved one who has anchored our children in the midst of this unique global season by allowing them to focus on being a kid.
2021-2022 © JITMOIA Podcast by All Paths Lead Home, LLC/SLE (TM) – All Rights Reserved
Season: 1 Episode: 9 - “Defining Moments: Part 2”
Intro Music: Royalty Free
Promo: BuzzSprout Services
Grand risings and runnings, framily, and welcome back to our Joy in the Midst of It All podcast show. I am your host - Aminah Amarachi.
Before we begin our show for today, I would like to pay tribute to my elder cousin - Willa Mae Reese - who made her transition on February 11, 2021, at the beautifully seasoned and sassy age of 92. I am going to miss our late night sessions about life and family history. She taught me so much, not just from our conversations or her stories, yet also from living her life out loud. Today, she was laid to rest and is now showing up in heaven as only she can…as a Renaissance woman. Show them how it’s done, Cousin Willa Mae. I will continue to run with the torch that you have gifted me with. Rest well, in peace and power. Love ya.
Now, let’s continue our journey…
Oftentimes, during our day in and day out hustle and bustle of living, or just surviving, you decide…we don’t seek, find, or make time for some uninterrupted introspective reflection. We arrived on the planet, and were led through various systems - family, school, community, work, church, relationships, etc…you know, societal systems. We go from the age of zero to midlife crises being mostly everything for everybody else based on their values, viewpoints, and visions for who they want us to be without ever truly taking the time to fully get to know, understand, embrace, and champion ourselves, i.e. who we came to the planet to be, let alone what we most desire to experience and express, for ourselves, in our own lives. That is until a 2 x 4 shows up and wallops us (You know…because we ignored the small pebbles that were pelting us all along the way trying to get us to pivot towards a more easy, effortless, and gracefully divine presence, power and purpose-filled way of life).
Ultimately, it’s only during those defining moments (Remember that 2x4) that we make some of the most courageous choices and satisfying shifts in our lives…for our own better. You know, like the choice to slow down, push pause, surrender, and/ or stretch ourselves beyond our own comfort zones even when we don’t know what’s up ahead AND our new grounded self affirming choices upset other folks’ apple carts (you know those who want us to remain the same as since the day they met us for their benefit) who we know deep in our bones no longer lovingly support nor serve our emerging transformation, or never intended to do so.
This perfectly orchestrated juncture in our journey makes way for us to put everyone on notice that we are taking some well deserved time for self care, are consciously defining ourselves for ourselves, and then dedicating our time, energy, and efforts to thriving as our most authentically awesome selves. It’s only from this space of presence and power that we are then able to journey with full awareness, acknowledgement, and acceptance of who and whose we are, what we value, what we will or will not tolerate, and what type of life’s journey we desire to embark upon, from that moment forward. So, who’s defining who? Take another look at your life while you tune in…
Today’s Episode: “Defining Moments: Part 2”
The year: Any year, at any time, in your life
The date: You get to choose
Remember, in the last episode, I shared with y’all that one of the major defining moments in my life was when I realized that the last time I saw my Mom, was in fact the last time I would see, sing with, hug, laugh with, model for (Yes, she liked for us to model clothing), and go on adventures with…our Mama.
Today I thought I would share with you my perspective of the words that make up both the title of my podcast show, and how I view life after having been blessed to walk alongside our Dad, during his journey through Alzheimer’s. Do know that for me, that juncture in my life both redefined and fine-tuned how I view caregiving in general, regardless of the one offering care or the loved one whom they are caring for. So, as I share with you my expression of and experience with the words Journey, Juncture, Joy, and Yielding, take a few moments to consider how you may have interacted with this words, in your life, until today, as compared to how you might choose to interact with them, and others whose lives intersect with yours, along the way, going forward. Together, for me, the etymology, energy, and lived experiences of these words have all served as the foundation for how I navigate my life going forward, as a person, as a caregiver, and during this podcasting journey.
Stay tuned for more right after our FIRST spotlight moment…
Spotlight Moment #1:
Family Reunions - When is the last time you attended a family reunion. I mean when was the last time you laid down your arguments, disagreements, and attitudes, and just took the opportunity to gather, heal, and grow together, so that once you are gone on, Yes, gone from the planet a mess has not been left behind that undos everything that the originator of the reunion intended…which was to leave a legacy of love, laughter, light, and peace, anchored in faith, favor, and fun. Go ahead, stop waiting for the same committee members to plan the next gathering - whether live or virtual. Go ahead and become a part of the better legacy you wish to leave by getting just as involved with planning, and sustaining your lineage's family reunions.
Now, back to our show…
Here are those words that make up my podcast show and guide how I journey through life:
A Journey is a profound spiritual, emotional, mental, and/or physical experience that leads us to excavate, evaluate, eliminate and/ or elevate how we view ourselves, our lives, and how we interact with those in our lives and in this world. For me, journeying as a caregiver was an opportunity for reciprocal gratitude anchored in giving and receiving love, through communion and healing that led to reconciliation within, and amongst, all of us involved in our journey.
A Juncture is a space, place, or point in time that offers a divine opportunity for two or more people whose paths have crossed to come together for a given reason or season that prayerfully leaves them better than when they first met. At times, however, it may include some of those challenging pivotal moments - You know those tests, trials and tribulations - yet ultimately a particular door becomes unlocked and opens up, within us, that leads us towards future triumphs. For me, that juncture was navigating caregiving full time while navigating a relationship simultaneously. Let’s just say that God’s grace is always sufficiently right on time, and I became 100% clear, as our young folks say, 100% about who and what I stood for and what I no longer tolerated, in my life.
Joy is an energy that rises up within you, that you can’t contain no matter how hard you try. Once you have experienced its vibration and reverberation, you never seek external happiness ever again. That’s why it’s unspeakable, and it can never be taken away from you once you understand that you have always had it within you all along. You just need to tap in and call it up and embrace it fully. For me, I realized that some of the simplest moments/experiences mirrored the joy already within me. Let’s be clear: My joy isn’t sourced from any given experience, yet my experiences mirror back to me my inner wellspring of joy.
Yielding is being willing to stand down, step aside, and surrender (give over to or let go of) some place, someone, or something in order to allow yourself to blossom and yield a grander harvest in your life. For me, yielding to the way society taught women to put themselves last after everyone else proved highly detrimental, so on that day (that 2x4 day) I got clear and made the choice to yield, i.e. let go of that viewpoint, that place, that relationship, that circumstance, and to self fulfillingly put myself first, no matter who was around me or what what going on around me, everything else that no longer served me fell away and all that was for my good (my harvest yield) began making its way towards me.
We each get one life to live, and nothing nor anyone else has the divinely given power nor authority to coerce, cajole, manipulate nor require that you acquiesce your life, time, energy, efforts, dreams, or well being for theirs, unless you choosing to give over your power to them. That Psalms 139 contract has only two divine signatures on it, yours and your Creator, so be mindful about why you are licensing out your life out to others.
Life is too precious to spend your time, energy and effort allowing others to define you and your journey. So, walk in that knowing, then be about the business of defining yourself, because you know yourself and all the moments of joy and junctures of yielding (That’s an acronym for J.O.Y.) in your own life’s journey, for yourself.
Now, it’s time for our next Spotlight moment…
Spotlight Moment #2:
This is for our Grandparents, parents, aunties, uncles, and in-loves who are holding it down for our children, by making sure that the past 2020/2021 season has not left our children feeling some kind of way. Thank you all for not letting a season traumatize them into believing that that is their lifelong norm. Thank you for taking them outdoors away from technology, conversations, media, etc…engaging with them and letting them know that it’s okay for them to just be kids...Salud…Framily.
Now, back to our show…
Here are my take-away, tip, tool, and toss.
Take-a-Way: If you truly desire to experience joy, even within those junctures of yielding, take time to spend some time getting to know yourself, without any one else’s vision, values, viewpoints, or definitions overlaid upon you.
Tip: Take a look back over your life - at every person, family, friend, peers, coworkers, teachers, all of them, and the places, situations and circumstances as well. Then, begin considering which values, visions, viewpoints, and emotions that fill your divine vessel actually originated 100% from you vs from others that you have allowed to just carry forth their values, vision, viewpoints, drama, etc. unconsciously, because of your fear of disappointing someone else, standing outside of the cliche’, or losing relationships. That’s called lethal loyalty © - this is doing things, or believing things the way others want you to even if it’s stealing moments of authenticity, peace, joy and your own life from you.
Tool: A great open air grassy or earthy space to connect with mother nature and yourself, untethered by technology and uninterrupted by folks who instinctively sense when you are intending to move forward and leave them behind, so they try to disrupt and interrupt your process in order to keep you right where they want you to be. Use this opportunity to just be, breath, hurt, howl, heal and grow forth towards your best life’s journey.
Toss: Caregivers - This is not optional. This is foundational if you are to be the best you can be for not only yourself, but also for the ones you are caring for…remember to always put your oxygen mask on, first. So, go ahead and define yourself, take care of yourself, and your journey of joy in the midst of it all, for yourself.
In closing, I’d like to take this time to thank you all, both my seasoned and new followers, for spending your time with me on today’s Joy in the Midst of It All journey.
Now, take a moment to tap the button on your favorite podcast streaming platform to tune in, follow, subscribe and rate the show. You will also receive updates when a new episode is released. We release an episode every second and fourth Thursday of the month. OK. Also, go ahead and tag a family caregiver, or a few, if you know them, and tell them one thing you have learned today, or from any previous episode, that will support you, and maybe them, in moving through the caregiving journey with more ease, no matter who God has chosen for you to offer your gift of caregiving to. Then, blaze a trail on over to my podcast website, for the show notes, transcript, and any links, and if your heart so leads you tip me what I like to call a “Cup of J.O.E. (A jolt of encouragement and support),” over at my Buy Me a Cup of Coffee website link. Understand, though, I do prefer tea. You will see the link in the show notes.
I am your host Aminah, and I want you to be blessed and less stressed...Why?, because yours and their lives depend on it. Have a great day.
Outro Music: Royalty Free
Buy Me a Cup of Coffee (Tea) for a J.O.E. (Jolt of Encouragement and Support)
2021-2022 © JITMOIA Podcast by All Paths Lead Home, LLC/SLE (TM) – All Rights Reserved