Butterflies, Bees, and Lightning Bugs Stopped By: The Gift of Caregiving Cycles...”Oh My”

Hey Family,

     In today's episode we take a moment to  embrace the blessings of pausing to rest, even in the midst of life's journey. Thanks for your understanding as spirit called for me to take some time to pause and rest.   Listen to today's episode to learn why being restful is just as important as being active along our life's journey.

Enjoy the show.


Be blessed.  Not stressed.  Why?

Because yours and their lives depend on it.

Aminah  Amarachi- Your host

https://linktr.ee/findingjoywithinthejunctures


2021-2022 © JITMOIA Podcast  by All Paths Lead Home, LLC/SLE (TM)  – All Rights Reserved

Transcript

S1E18 - Butterflies, Bees, and Lightning Bugs Stopped By: The Gift of Caregiving Cycles...”Oh My”

Intro Music: Royalty Free

Promo: BuzzSprout Services 

Grand risings and runnings, family, and welcome back to our Joy in the Midst of It All podcast show.  I am your host - Aminah Amarachi.

Before we begin our journey, I would like to share with you how the 5G upgrade, a utility company outage, and multiple endeavors and experiences led to me taking a moment to pause.

Last week, Wednesday, upon arising o’ dark before sunrise, to work on last Thursdays’ episode – i. e. write the transcript, record, edit and upload the show - before the world got a stirring, I woke to find out that for the third, and then fourth time, in two days back to back, for about 6 to 12 hours plus,  in the most recent month, Wi-fi was down.  Real talk - my service provider decided to spend a day and a half upgrading to the 5G network.  Note, they did not tell the customers in advance and that was the fourth time they'd did that. Then, on the second day,  thanks to the summer heat surge, the electrical power was also out for six hours.

Now, the funniest epiphany that I experienced, hmm, was after choosing to surrender those mornings over to focusing on my other endeavors, I was in the middle of sharing what had happened, later that Thursday evening, with a friend, when it dawned on me that I had forgotten that I didn’t need Wi-fi to record nor edit my show. I only need it to upload and post it. And, that, on that Wednesday, when the power was back up, and the internet was back up on Thursday.  I cracked myself up something silly at this revelation. So,...how does this all tie into today’s show title…stay tuned to find out… 

Now, let’s continue our journey…

There was a famous athlete who is still well known, and beloved for his courage, and one of his most memorable mantras about butterflies and bees.  Well, as I went along my week, both last week and up through today, as I am recording last week’s episode, I was presented with many “signs and wonders” that led me to not only move the show that I had originally intended to record further down my title roster, yet also add lightning bugs to his mantra, yet with my own metaphorically mixed meaning to it…

Today’s Episode:  Butterflies, Bees, and Lightning Bugs Stopped By: The Gift of Caregiving Cycles...”Oh My”

The year:2022 (Plus a few others, I am recalling as reference points for this episode)

The dates: Wednesday and Thursday, of last week, plus, almost six years of boots on the ground caregiving.

The scenes:  Scene #1: Cracking myself up laughing at the realization that I could have transcribed, recorded and edited my podcast episode that Wednesday morning, or evening, and then uploaded and posted it once the Wi-fi was back online, even if not until after the electrical power came was restored, that had gone on that Thursday.

Scene #2: Trying to shift to a new sleeping schedule, in order to wake up at pre- dark thirty, to focus on a variety of creative ideas and endeavors that are pulling me forward along the next leg of my life's journey, only to arrive home late one evening, after a full day of being of service, only to realize that my mind and my body had been up and running for more than twelve and a half hours and they were side-eye-ING me like “Now, you know you ain’t no spring chicken no mo’ while you trying to burn six candles at both ends,” HA  “You are a well seasoned chicken, now, Chica.”...so, uhh...hmm...yeah... rah...nah...LOL...HA

Scene #3:  There is a way of being I that I was blessed with, along with a friend teaching me how to making homemade biscuits and their family's famous Rosa Lee Salad(TM), from scratch. That good friend, whose nick name was Nibby (Rest in Power), called it piddling and a whittling.  It is that thing we do when we look around our space and say, “Hmm…I need to whittle down some things - papers, clothes, belongings, you know, people, whatever, etc…” “So, I will spend some time piddling, i. e. being about the business of whittling down those things  in say a few hours, a few days, a month... and for some of us...12 years…yea, go on' head and raise your hand, 'cause I got mine raised. No one can see you…I promise...LOL…in order to bring more order to our spaces, which also brings order to our lives. When done well, it serves us well, yet when done as a busy bee ...uhm..hmm...well...you know...12 years...and counting...especially while you are caregiving for a loved one...

The Story:  Well, for those of us who raised our hands…shh…I won’t tell…if you won't...we all know that sometimes, during our piddling to whittling sessions, or during our daring to care for those we love, we can, at times, find ourselves being really busy, like bees... you know, they are pollinating nature, yet we are not really being productive at all.  There is a difference, between being busy and being productive. One seems to waste our time and leaves us feeling more frustrated with things left undone, while the other is a very laser focused action with a definite purpose, and an outcome that ultimately blesses us with more time back in our schedule and a load off our minds. 

Busy bees tend to move piles upon piles of things from one place to another, may make some notes on index cards or scraps of paper or in their PDA...Yeah, that's for you seasoned chickens...LOL…you know we all have our systems...right…yet when they look around…nothing has actually been done, improved upon, nor achieved, i.e... our desired outcome...Order. 

Those of us in the bees cycle - Yes, keep your hands up, now, yep, keep those hands up...uhm..hmm..When it comes to us being in that bee cycle of caregiving often find ourselves buzzing around burning up a lot of energy, yet feeling drained at the end of a day, or five days, having not achieved any results. Why? Now, that is a question - (pause like a rhetorical question) - with an answer, that is unique for each of us, so I offer that you take a look underneath your unproductive busy bee habits, to get at the root, and uproot whatever might be hindering you from that which you desire to achieve, if anything, during those moments, so that you become more productive in your endeavors, when you desire and choose to be.

Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes piddling and whittling has other purposes, like just being a time for processing, from a zen meditation perspective, to allow your spirit, heart, mind and body, to ponder, wonder, settle upon, resolve, decide on something or just recalibrate itself before moving on to the next caregiving and/ or life task.

Now, as for those cycles of caregiving where we are in our unproductive butterfly state, we may either be floating along easy breezy, with everything going along as planned. Yet note just like a choice and a non-choice both have their place in our lives, and respective outcomes, so does busyness – whether butterfly or bee. So, be gentle with yourself no matter what.

Now, when it comes to caregiving, hmm...or as we say life's seasons, in which we are experiencing a transformation that requires us to conserve our energy, by cocooning ourselves, like the butterfly...in order to be fully present for our inner, and outer, metamorphosis....uhm...hmm...hmm

Stay tuned for more right after our first spotlight moment.

Now, for our first spotlight moment…

Spotlight Moment #1:

Our first spotlight moment is dedicated to 5G and the electric company. Why? Because what you see is something that might be considered like something stuck in your craw that is causing you shifting your schedule, or that causes a challenge for you, actually is a blessing. Why? Because their interruption was needed so that I would have the opportunity to move from both my busyness and productive cycle to one that would better serve me in this moment of my journey…stay tuned to find out how their interruption blessed me by partnering with the lightning bugs.

Welcome Back Family

In our butterfly cycles, we can feel ourselves stepping away from people, places, activities, sounds, media – yep, smart gadgets - and our interests. We even put our busy bee piddling and whittling on hold, and we're being drawn to go within ourselves. Cocooning, at least for me, is a time of refuge, reflection, and restoration. It's a time I've been most grateful for because as I have been drawn inwardly I know beyond knowing that within my cocoon I am being prepared for something more, and that on the other side of my chrysalis, I, as the butterfly am getting ready to float on into the next leg of my journey, and the cycle/ and or season pre-cocooning is complete.

Now, from whence this episode began…how about those lightning bugs…Well, I don’t know about you, yet when things show up in threes, I take note. Having been so focused on all of my irons in the fire, not only had I been flitting around, and as our Dede would flouncing around like a busy bee, with a great deal of both productive and unproductive moments, and outcomes, there were moments when, what looked on the surface as my butterfly cocoon beginning to singing to me, when in actuality it was my lightning bug flashing at me, like really really flashing at me. 

Now, for us caregivers, it can look like we planned on washing a load of laundry then fell into a marathon of our favorite binge watchable show.  Yep, I still have my hand up. How about you? Or, we spent the last 48 hours trying to convince the one we are caring for, be it man, woman, or child, beloved, or elder to do something that we’d hope would make our days run more smoothly, yet they had other plans, uhm...hmm...along with strong wills and independent God given spirits of their own.  Or, we keep pushing ourselves,  in our passion for what we’ve committed to, or over committed, ourselves to, and in order to complete those things we hustle and bustle around trying to get things done...You know...to get something DONE...to feel a sense of accomplishment because everything else at that moment feels challenging, overwhelming, or out of our control. Yet, it doesn't get done because our six candles are down to their nubs, or burnt out.

Well lo and behold, there come my lightning bugs, three times in one week to be exact, hanging out on my wall, with a message, for me.  Not lighting up in all her brilliance. She was just there. So, I took the time out from my piddling, whittling, ripping, running, juggling, and jumping through hoops to look up her meaning and her message. This is how mother nature loves on us. Uhm Hmm, yes she do.

Now, I should not have even been surprised, yet I was.  Well, if you wanna know what that there those three little ole lightning bugs came to tell me…matter of fact her and all her friends...drum roll…that I needed to rest in order to be the light that I am bringing to the world. Now, how about that? I'm gonna let you just get a hold of that in your mouth and just chew on it, brew on it, and you might even want to stew or spew on that message, yet I'm just gonna leave it right there, for you. OK? “I needed to rest in order to be the light that I am bringing to the world.” This does for whatever you are being called to shine your brilliant light upon as a caregiver, a service provider, a creator, a loved one, and a friend, so, that you don't burn yourself out.  What?  Rest…who dare tell of such a ting….Yep…pure unapologetic, untimed, non-scripted, without interference…nor interruption...R.E.S.T…rest.  And, just in case I hadn’t anchored into their message into my shanana, you know, their immediate call to action was that I go over to social media to check in, and lo and behold, when I look over there someone had posted that the meaning of “Noah” - you know that man in the bible – that his name meant “REST.”  OK! I've got the message. Well, I’ll just be a busy bee that stops buzzing around to settle on down, a butterfly floating back home to curl up, and a lightning bug pausing to preserve my light.

My Reflections:

All things happen exactly when they are supposed to divinely happen.  “It is as it was meant to be.” Rest in Power, Mama Helen Jones. Though there is linear time, on earth, created by us, there is no time nor space in Creation; thus, our seeming 24-hour, or 36-hour running around day is just a nano-second in the grander scheme of Divine timing.  Rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off, or a buzzing around until we sting ourselves doesn’t guarantee a) a task well done, b) the quality outcome we desire, or c) no additional brownie points with the Divine (so stop chasing them from anyone and everything else…because that stress alone might leave you burnt out, for good, and then what would the one you are caring for do, or your family for that matter, do without you and your life AKA light, whether you are currently a caregiver or not).

My Insight:

Embrace the butterflies' “in the meantime” perspective.  No...no...nope, this, that, and the other might not get done. Why? Because the Divine is working on us, so everything else might just have to wait. Prioritize one thing for the one you are caring for and one thing for yourself, each day, and get those things done. Then, if you feel like it, go ahead and cocoon yourself as best you can while caregiving, and witness not only your own transformation, but the one you are caring for as well…because their journey through their growth or health challenge, is a transformation in and of itself.  

In truth, the butterfly is also kin to the lightning bug. At least, I think that she is. In your cocoon you are also resting. Just as is a gestating baby developing in their Mama’s womb, or an elder on the porch, with their eyes closed, and you think that they are asleep, when they say, “Every eye closed aint sleep,”  all speak to, and remind us, about the importance of “in due season,” and “while we wait on the Divine, it’s okay to rest, and rest well.”  Some of our best ideas, and the Divine’s best work occurs when we rest ourselves and let life unfold courageously from within and before us, easily, effortlessly, and gracefully.  Remember that “faith without works” scripture…well our “work,” within our oneness with the Universe, is both active and still.  There are moments when we are led to express our faith by moving forward, in a given direction, and in other moments when we are led to express our faith, by being still, RESTING, and knowling while the Universe moves on our behalf.  Our wisdom comes in knowing the difference and surrendering to whichever moment that it is.

Now, it’s time for our next Spotlight moment…

Spotlight Moment #2:

This spotlight moment is dedicated to Octavia Raheem.  Mother-Author-Yoga Guide-Rest Guide.  Her mission is for us to learn to be able to take care of ourselves, FIRST.  Thank you, Ms. Raheem for always reminding us to PAUSE. REST. BE.(TM)  Check out her website: https://octaviaraheem.comIt will be available on the show notes page and in the transcript.

Now, back to our show…

Here are my take-away, tip, tool, and toss.

Take-a-Way:  

There is a reason, season, and time for each of our butterfly, bee, and lightning bug cycles. Sometimes our busyness is how we process life’s happenings, so it has it’s place too, yet be mindful of becoming too comfortable there.  Our butterfly cycle prepares us for what to come next along our journey. Embrace the process with peace and wonder.  And, our lightning bug cycle reminds us to pause, breathe, rest, and I'll even add trust the process, to refresh ourselves so that we can be productive and be prepared for all the signs of wonderful wonders that are on the way, in due season.

Tip: 

Just for today, consider ways that you can offer yourself lightning bug moments of rest.  Brief ones work, to start. Why? Because lightning bugs generate their own light, and as such must care for their own light, in order to sustain it so that it may light their way, and bring light to their caregiving and life journey, FOR LIFE.

Tool:  

A yoga mat, a pillow, or two, and the floor of your choice - living room, bedroom, den, mother nature's grass, etc. - turn off all technology, household appliances, and interrupters (I.e. folks), make the place safe for you and the one you are caring for, then see if they would be willing to sit, or lay down, in whichever way most comfortable for each of you, and just “rest y'alls eyes” together.  You can also choose to give this gift of rest to yourself while they attend a respite or day care somewhere. Remember, that instead of dropping them off and then rushing around like an unproductive busy bee trying to take care of errands, housecleaning, phone calls, and catching up chores, etc. Just (takes a breath) REST. I promise you that after a rest break you will feel revived and more energized rather than just plowing through while you are weary or worn out.  Trust me, I speak from experience. Autopilot can be detrimental to both you and those you love and care for, so tune in and take full advantage of rest, even if at times you must do so with one eye open and the other one closed, so you can tune fully into your life, i.e. what your body is calling for and what you need. Rest in your mind's eye.

Toss:

Start with a five minute rest break, then try ten, or fifteen, until you find your sweet spot, then build this rest break into your day, every day, or every other day.  You choose. Time is precious and cannot be recouped, so incorporate rest into your life so that you will be able to still be here to even have a chance at being busy, and or productive in yours and your loved ones' lives.

Closing:

In closing, I’d like to take this time to thank you all, both my seasoned and new followers, for spending your time with me on today’s Joy in the Midst of It All journey. Now, take a moment to tap the button on your favorite podcast streaming platform to tune in (see the drop down menu, with all of those little icons, on the podcast website to select your preferred platform.) Then click follow, to subscribe and finally rate the show. Depending on the streaming platform that you use, whether you are on your smartphone, desktop, or laptop, you may have to log into some of the platforms, then scroll down below the episode, in order to click on the stars to rate the show, type up and submit a review.  I really would appreciate it. Thanks in advance for your support. 

You will also receive updates when a new episode is released.  We release an episode every second and fourth Thursday of the month. I am releasing last Thursday’s episode today. OK. Count it to my heart needing a rest. Count it to the Universe saying pause. And, count it to I will still get them out to you, when I can. So, go ahead and tag a family caregiver, or a few, if you know them, and tell them one thing you have learned today, or from any previous episode, that will support you, and maybe them, in moving through the caregiving journey with more ease, no matter who or how God has chosen for you or them to offer your gift of caregiving to your loved ones.

Then, blaze a trail on over to my podcast website, on Buzzsprout, for the show notes, transcript, and any links, and if your heart so leads you tip me what I like to call a “Cup of J.O.E. (A jolt of encouragement and support),” over at my Buy Me a Cup of Coffee website link. Understand, though, I do prefer a great cup of tea and lemonade...an Arnold Palmer...for sure... You will see the link in the show notes. I am still building it out for your benefit. Thanks for your patience, in advance. 

I am your host Aminah, and I want you to be blessed and less stressed...Why?, because yours and their lives depend on it. Have a great day.

2021-2022 © JITMOIA Podcast  by All Paths Lead Home, LLC/SLE (TM)  – All Rights Reserved