I'm Gonna Have to Call You Back

In today's episode, we ring in 2022, with a short, funny and memorable story about one of our Happy New Year's Day moments.

Learn a few ways to build a bridge that connects you, the caregiver, and your loved ones, as you navigate the caregiving journey.

 
Be blessed.  Not stressed.  Why?

Because yours and their lives depend on it.

Aminah - Your host

https://linktr.ee/findingjoywithinthejunctures

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/selfpamperallow
Buy Me a Cup of Coffee (Tea) for a J.O.E. (Jolt of Encouragement and Support)

2021-2022 © JITMOIA Podcast  by All Paths Lead Home, LLC/SLE – All Rights Reserved.

Transcript

Season: 1 Episode: 6 - “I’m Gonna Have to Call You Back”

Intro Music: Royalty Free

Promo: BuzzSprout Services 

Welcome back family to our Joy in the Midst of It All podcast show. I am your host - Aminah Amarachi.

Happy New 2022 Year, FRAMILY - family and friends.  I pray that you all enjoyed a wonder-filled, joy-filled, and peace-filled holiday season with your family.

I know I did.  And, I am most grateful for the time we spent together, both virtually and in 3-D. And, I embraced the space I was in on the memorial-versary of our Dad’s transition, January 10th, of this year.  It’s been six years, so in honor of the New Year, and our Dede, I’ve decided to share a quick, funny, memorable story of our journey together.

Now, in today’s episode it’s country boy - Dede, vs city girl - Me.  This story still makes me laugh when I think about it - It’s the “I’m Gonna Have to Call You Back” story, which I pray that it reminds us that even in the midst of a junctured journey there can be great, fond and laughter filled new memories, made.  It also proves to us that God always reaches out to us, even when we, i.e. our loved ones, and as caregivers, are journeying alongside them as they journey through their health challenges, such as Alzheimer’s.

Now, let’s continue our journey…

The Title:  “I’m Gonna Have to Call You Back”

The Date: It was either January 1, 2009 or 2010…

    I don’t remember. Count it to my head and not my heart

The Story: 

My Dede has always teased me for being a city girl. By city girl, he means one who goes glamping, not camping in the North Carolina Mountains and stays in a modern day cabin, and goes fishing, while glamping, at a Fish farm.  Now, for those die hard fishing folks, you are probably falling off your chair by now.  Yet, for those of you unfamiliar with what a “Fish” farm…well it’s a man-made, enclosed pool that has fish crammed in it, for which you pay to use a fishing pole and yellow corn…you know, and yes I said yellow corn, and not red wigglers, to bait and catch fish, THAT ARE IN A POOL, which you then hand over to the attendant to remove the innards, chop off the head and tail, and thus, this city girl only had to scale it, wrap it in foil, with some veggies of course, and place it over the fire (which I did help get to roaring) and wait for it to cook.  Let’s just say I have graduated to holding and baiting my lines, even though I don’t want to hurt the little worms, with both colored plastic and real live red wigglers. I even own my own reel.  I’m better than I was. And, yes, I still have a ways to go.

 Well, the challenge presented to me, by my Dede, on December 30th of the year before, was… “Are you gonna cook the New Year’s Day good luck meal?”  I thought about it, for a minute…i.e. The hog maws, or meat in my greens, was not my style, yet I said, “Yes.”  He then asked, “Do you know how?”  To which I replied, “ahh…Yes…I know and enjoy cooking collard greens, black eyed peas, and cornbread.”  He asked, “What about the hog maws?”  To which I replied, “Watch me, I will cook those, too.”  To which he replied, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

 So, off to the grocery store I went, taking my younger sister with me, to buy all the ingredients.  We finally found the hog maws at one of our local grocery stores.  Let’s just say, they are not this plant based city woman’s cup of tea.

 Now, as for the collard greens, I had already switched him from eating them with meat in them, by stepping him down from pork to smoked turkey neck, then down to vegetable broth and sundried tomatoes (for texture of course).  Black eyed peas with onions and red bell peppers was a piece of cake, as was the cornbread.  I chose to refrain from making a vegan version…ha…ha…just this one time. However, upon looking up the recipe for cooking hog maws…well…uh..I was clear that this would be a once in a lifetime cooking experience for me…as far as I was concerned.

 Now, on the day that I prepared the meal, January 1, when I brought Dede’s plate, he was sitting in his favorite “eagle eyes” view point at his window seat (i.e. like his Dede used to sit on their front porch back in the day). He was talking on the phone to our other sister.  She was on speaker phone. They were just talking away.

 I placed his plate and drink before him.  He said grace, then proceeded to taste my first ever, and last time, hog maws, New Year’s Day Good Luck meal. On a side note: As he lifted his fork to his mouth, he was still in mid sentence of his conversation with our sister, yet upon tasting each part of the meal, he stopped talking, look down at the speaker phone, and proclaimed to our sister, “I’m Gonna Have to Call You Back,” and hung up the phone.  Now, I don’t recall if she got to say goodbye or not.  I’ll have to check with her.  I fell out laughing, then after composing myself, I asked, “So, Dede, you think your city-girl daughter cooked your meal well?”  He replied, “Oh yea, oh yea,” without even looking up from his plate.  I replied, “You’re welcome, and that is the last time I’m cooking hog maws… City Girl “1,” Country Boy “0.”   Happy New 2022 Year, FRAMILY.   Count on God to Make It Count.  Rest in Peace-Filled Power,, Dede.

Stay tuned for more right after our FIRST spotlight moment…

Spotlight Moment #1: My Sisters. My Love. My Boots on the Ground.

I know that many family caregivers may not have siblings that are available, able, or willing to be available to support them with their caregiving journey.  I have been fortunate to have been blessed to have been supported by my sisters.  Together, we were able to support our Dad on his journey, through Alzheimer’s, from start to finish, and beyond. When I needed a respite break, a reboot, encouragement, financial support, etc. They were always there.  They were our boots on the ground.  And, I could never thank them enough, for making a journey that could have been way more than it was navigable.  Thanks, Diva. Thanks Boo, for your love, courage, and support. Love y’all much.  Dirt.

Now, back to our show…

Welcome Back

 With THAT CALL -  Yes, ANOTHER call…Or, really a challenge, you know, like a call to action from my Dede, he gave me the opportunity to show the country boy in him that the city girl in me had some country girl skills.  Even as a kid, he would ask me, “What are you doing to that tuna (back when I ate meat based tuna, of course)?” [laughter] I’d reply, “Well, I don’t like mayo nor sweet relish, so I am making mine with curry powder, dill pickles or cucumbers, and dijon mustard…ha…ha…ha.”  His head would tilt, and he’d look at our Mom, with an expression that silently voiced, “City Girl,” or “I ain’t never heard of no mess like that.” Ha-Ha..

 Yet, over the years, as, you know, I haven’t stopped modifying and making different ole school meals my own new school way, he would come to both accept and expect it and even enjoy many of my unique culinary creations. Love ya, country boy.

My Reflections:

Anything ole school, cooking wise, that is, can be made new school healthier and still taste great.  And, there is always a place upon the bridge where we can meet our loved ones - elders, beloveds, youth, anyone  - in the middle, in order to share the ways and wonders of each of our own unique culinary journeys, which could then expands our collective options, and open doors for conversations about new traditions, that can become not only honoring of the ole school, yet healing of a collective family as well, in ways that are loving, light-hearted and laughter filled. Go ahead, seek to meet each other in the middle. 

My Insight:

As you navigate yours and your loved ones parallel journey, seek out opportunities to bridge your seasons (i.e. the generations you come from) in order to create some warm, funny and memorable moments that will support you both in getting through the smooth and challenging days of your journey.

Now, it’s time for our next Spotlight moment…

Spotlight Moment #2: Al’Keith Gibbs’ Barber & Style Shop 
                                                   and  Myrtle Scott’s A Nu-Era Barber Studio’s

Now, as I’ve mentioned before, our Dede was a trained Barber. He received his training at Griffin Tech, in Griffin GA.  At least that is what is used to be called back to them. He was blessed to be of service at Al’s Barber & Style Shop (RIP Mr. Al’Keith). And, he had a chance to work with and be blessed by another skilled barber - Mrs. Myrtle Scott, of A Nu-Era Barber’s Studio. Mrs. Scott blessed both our parents with her hair cutting skills, later in their lives.  Great service.  Great conversation.  Go let Mrs. Scott and her team shape you up.  A Nu-Era Barber Studio is located at 2758 Candler Drive, Decatur, GA 30034. Give her a call (404) -244-1757.

Now, back to our show…

Here are my take-away, tip, tool, and toss.

Take-a-Way:  You can move a country man to the city, yet he is still a country boy at heart.  You can move a city woman to the country, yet she is still a city girl to her heart. So, embrace both our country roots and our city upbringing and bridge all divides with a great home cooked meal.

Tip:  Build a bridge. How? Ask the one you are caring for what their favorite food or dish was as a child or is as an adult.  Ask them to share a story about why it became their favorite.  Enjoy a fond memory with them that you can then pass forward to future descendants.

Tool: A 6-QT crockpot. Why?  Because I cooked 6 quarts  of greens that we were able to enjoy all week long, with many different dishes, thus as a caregiver this saved me some time during the week.

Toss:  Find a healthy recipe version of their favorite food/dish and make it for them.  Enjoy it with them, even if only one time, and create a fond new shared memory together. Like we did - “I’m Gonna Have to Call You Back.” HILARIOUS.

Closing:

 In closing, I’d like to take this time to thank you all, both my seasoned and new followers, for spending your time with me on today’s Joy in the Midst of It All journey.

 Now, take a moment to tap the button on your favorite podcast streaming platform to tune in, follow, and subscribe to receive updates when a new episode is released.  We release an episode every second and fourth Thursday of the month. OK. Also, go ahead and tag a family caregiver, or a few, because they all need what I like to call an ear respirt. Tell them one thing you learned today that will support you, and maybe them, in moving through the caregiving journey with more ease, effortlessness, and grace.  No matter who God has chosen for you to offer your gift of caregiving to, find a way to be at peace.  You were built for this journey. God chose you for it.  It’s all gonna work out well. 

Then, blaze a trail on over to my podcast website, for the show notes, transcript, and links, and if your heart so leads you tip me what I like to call a “Cup of J.O.E. (A jolt of encouragement and support),” over at Buy Me a Cup of Coffee.  My preference is tea. You will see the link in the show notes.

I'm your host, AMINAH. And, I want you to remember to...

    Be Blessed, And Less Stressed...Why?

        Because both yours and their lives depend on it.  Have a great day.

Outro Music:  Royalty Free

https://linktr.ee/findingjoywithinthejunctures

Buy Me a Cup of Coffee (Tea) for a J.O.E. (Jolt of Encouragement and Support)

2021-2022 © JITMOIA Podcast  by All Paths Lead Home, LLC/SLE – All Rights Reserved.